Chapters Forty-four and Forty-five

I was afraid.

Get a grip, I ordered myself.  Rune, Eran, Etsuo, and Gregor know what they’re doing; if they think we can get away with this, we can. It was meant to be a bracing reminder.  Unfortunately, it didn’t help much.  I lay in bed, my eyes trying to pierce the darkness that seemed to be closing in with faint, cold menace.  Where will I be twenty-four hours from now? I wondered with a tight swallow.

Well, worse case, we would be caught before we could escape and handed over to the tender mercies of Enid Huw.  Okay, that didn’t bear thinking about.  Best case?  Our plan would go off without a hitch.  Oddly enough, that didn’t make me feel a whole lot better.  Call me a coward, but the prospect of hurtling through space in a pint-sized ship that hadn’t flown for more than four hundred years was less than thrilling.  The fact that our course would be set for an unknown planet we may or may not be able to land on, let alone inhabit, was likewise not calculated to ease my mind.

Giving in to the well-known misery-loves-company impulse, I rolled onto my left side.  “Eran?”  I whispered.  “Are you awake?”

“Mm.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Except for the tension is rolling off you in waves,” he murmured, “I never would have guessed.”  The sheets rustled as he turned to face me.  “What’s wrong, Kai?”

“I’m scared.”  It came out small and pitiful, prompting a mortified wince.

He caressed my shoulder before brushing his fingers gently down my arm to clasp my hand.  He lifted it, pressed it to his lips.  “No shame in that,” he said.  “We’re all scared.”

“You, too?”

“Me, too.  I’d be a fool not to be.  Whether we’re stopped or whether we escape cleanly … either way, the danger is very real.”

“It’s a good plan,” I whispered hopefully.

“Yes, it is.”

“Do you think it will work?”

“Red, if I didn’t think it would work, I would have no part of it.  I’m not about to risk your life, or mine, on an ill-considered, hopeless gamble.  We would find another way.”

I snuggled closer, my anxiety easing slightly as his arm slid around my waist.  “Was holding the drill your idea?.”

“Mm.  Fortunately, the drills don’t follow a regular schedule; Rune prefers to spring them unannounced.  I couldn’t see any other way to get all thirteen of us safely on board the life craft without attracting undue attention.”

“Rune was impressed.”

“Rune would have thought of it himself before long.”

“Are you two sure no one will notice when we don’t deplane?”

“As sure as we can be.  No one’s ever checked before to make sure everyone got off.  No need to.  Why would anybody linger, when abandon-ship drills are unanimously considered nothing but a bloody, boring nuisance?  All anyone wants is to get the run-through over with as quickly as possible.  We’ll simply slip into hiding during the muddle that inevitably results when everyone throngs the exits.  Two hours after the drill, Rune will begin his charade with Gaspar.  I doubt anyone will have time to detect our absence before all hell breaks loose.”

“And when it does, those of us who aren’t assigned to Lu’s ship will sneak off our ships and onto hers, because it’s nearest the launch portal.”

I felt him nod.  “The lists designating the passengers of specific life craft have been set for centuries.  We certainly can’t change them now.  I only hope all our friends remember to make their moves cautiously, in pairs, at the specified ten-minute intervals.  We don’t want ten people making a mad dash all at once.”

“I’m sure the others will be careful.”

“All the same, I’m glad Rune plans to tinker with the video feed.  If anyone decides to zoom in on the area—not that they will so soon after the exercise—but in case they do, it’s reassuring to know they’ll see looped footage of a deserted hangar bay.”

“Mm.”  Eran’s warmth was driving away the cold; I could feel myself relaxing even more.  “Did you see Liriene’s face when she realized she would have to give up the library?  I thought she was going to cry.”  I didn’t mention the fact that I had been ready to cry with her.

“Fortunately, we’ll be traveling on her assigned life craft.”

He was referring to the fact that the quarters aboard the life craft were small, but fully furnished.  Since both Lu and Liriene were already assigned to the ship we were taking, they would have the comfort of a few personal possessions—Lu her art supplies, Liriene at least a few books.  The rest of us would have to leave everything behind and start over with whatever we could find in the unoccupied quarters.  Strangely enough, losing all my possessions didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would.  Eran and I would finally be able to live together openly as husband and wife; whatever belongings we chose, we would choose together.

Eran brushed his lips across my forehead.  “Feeling better now?”

“Mostly.  I guess.  Except ….”

“Except?”

“Eran, what happens if we find out this new planet isn’t habitable?”

“In that case, we’ll have a decision to make, won’t we?” he replied calmly.  “We’ll have to find someplace else to go.”

“But Gregor will already have programmed those coordinates into the computer.  Can he change them once they’re set?”

“Absolutely.  Etsuo assures me he can modify our guidance system if need be, so we can operate autonomously.  The ship would still pilot itself, but we would be able to tell it where to go.”

“And where would that be, if not this planet?” I wondered.  “Worlds fit for human habitation don’t exactly grow on trees, you know.”

His cough sounded suspiciously like a strangled laugh.  “Excuse me?”

I elbowed him in the side.  “You know what I mean.”

“Oddly enough, I do.”  The arm around my waist moved as his hand came up to lift my face to his.  He kissed me quick and chuckled, “I’m crazy about you, Red.”  Kissing me again, he pulled me close, tucking my head beneath his chin.  “As for the what-ifs … suppose we hold those for the time being?  No sense borrowing trouble.  And who knows?  Maybe you’re right.  Maybe our lives are being shaped and guided by some force, some more advanced life form with a cosmic plan.  If so, and if it’s brought us this far, what reason do we have to think it will leave us stranded?”

He no sooner asked the question when the strangest thing happened:  All my remaining tension ebbed away and a deep peace flooded me, which didn’t make a lick of sense, because nothing had changed.  Tomorrow still bristled with danger, risks, and uncertainty.  Any sane person would be worried, but all of a sudden I wasn’t.  It took all of thirty seconds for me to decide I could analyze this weird emotional sine wave some other time.  For now, I would give myself over to it and get a good night’s sleep.

“You’re right,” I told Eran, yawning widely.  “Either way, there’s no use thinking about it now.”  I settled deeper into the mattress.  “We’d better get some rest.”

“Just like that?”

“Mm-hm.”

Eran chuckled again, softly, as he pulled the covers up to my chin.  “I’m never going to completely understand you, am I?  What I can’t for the life of me figure out,” he murmured as I started to drift off, “is why I should find the fact that you constantly manage to surprise me so very delightful.  Good night and good rest, my love,” he whispered.

I felt his lips on my hair right before I fell into an impossibly deep, dreamless sleep.

Ω

 

Chapter 45

 

“Keep moving!  Keep moving, people!”  Bill Stallings stood, legs braced apart, hands on hips, his expression a mix of boredom and professional frustration.  The look said it all.  These exercises were a pain, but they were necessary.  They were also timed, and Stallings was responsible for getting this particular group on that particular life craft as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately for Bill, his charges weren’t cooperating.  As usual, they strolled up the gangway in random, unruly gaggles.  Some complained, some laughed and made sarcastic remarks—the kind of comments people make when they think the bureaucrats in charge have nothing better to do than hassle John Q. Public.  Security and safety personnel were the only ones inclined to take these drills seriously, and tonight even they seemed bored.

I, on the other hand, was terrified.  My legs were weak, my hands were cold, my mouth so dry I couldn’t have licked my lips even if I had wanted to—which I didn’t, because that would be a sign of extreme nervousness, right?  I kept moving toward the gangway, reminding myself to breathe normally so I wouldn’t hyperventilate before I got to the ship.  As Eran and I neared Stallings, I swallowed with a dry click I was sure the man would hear.  So far, I had managed—at least, I hoped I had—to keep the pulse-pounding panic off my face.  I was aiming for the same expression of resigned, bored impatience I saw on everyone else.  But could I pull it off?  What if Bill noticed the deep, hard throb of my carotid artery?  He had been trained to pick up on stuff like that, right?  By the Sage, I was not cut out for this!

As I drew even with the security man, I forced myself to meet his gaze and give him a small, wry smile.  “Are we having fun yet?”

He smirked a bit, but kept it official by adding a simple directive to, “Keep moving, please.”

He didn’t have to tell me twice.

“Nicely done,” Eran muttered under his breath, once we were well past Stallings.  “I didn’t know you had it in you, Red.”

“Me either,” I murmured, and managed to draw my first real breath since the klaxon had sounded.

We shuffled toward the life craft in what seemed like maddening slow motion.  What was the hold up, anyway?  I fought the urge to crane my neck in an effort to find out … or search out familiar faces among the lines snaking toward the neighboring ships, ahead and to our left.  I couldn’t see the two life craft themselves, because my view of that part of the tarmac was blocked by our ship.  I knew Rune was watching the drill from up in the control room but didn’t so much as glance in that direction.  All I could do now was keep moving, try to remain inconspicuous, and hope all our friends would do the same.

Suddenly, my feet were on the gangway, and we began the steep climb toward the yawning aft hatch.  My legs threatened to give out on me, but I steadied myself with the handrails as, Not much farther, almost there, not much farther, almost there, cycled through my head like a mantra.  I concentrated on keeping my respiration even and my movements relaxed.  There was nothing I could do about my skyrocketing heart rate.

We stepped through the hatch and turned left, slowly progressing through the residential section to the forward cabin, inching our way between the rows of seats, five on each side of the aisle.  There it was, row seventeen.  My assigned row.  I edged in sideways and took my seat next to the bulkhead, while Eran continued up the aisle to row twelve.  I buckled the seatbelt, heaving a silent sigh of relief when I managed to do it without my hands shaking or fingers fumbling.

Elspeth Jaeger huffed blond bangs out of her blue eyes as she plopped down into the seat to my left.  “These things are a waste of time,” she complained, glowering at the seat back in front of her.

I settled for a noncommittal, “Mm.”

“And of all the times to hold one—eleven o’clock at night!  I was on my way to a mix.”  The hairdresser adjusted a thick gold bangle cuffing her right wrist.  “Oh, well,” she sighed, “what’s an hour, more or less?”  She turned to greet the tall, slender man who sank gracefully into the seat to her left.  “Dante!  You look fantastic … as usual.  Are you going to Damia’s mix, too?”

Turned out he was, so the two dived into some lively gossip about the other people expected to attend, mercifully cutting me out of the conversational loop.  Wanting to make sure I stayed out, I leaned back my head and closed my eyes.  The wait for the all-clear seemed to last forever, the cabin growing warm and stuffy as Elspeth and Dante dissected their friends, and I battled a bad case of near-claustrophobic, rapidly fraying nerves.  Finally, the klaxon gave two short blasts, signaling our release.

Now came the tricky part.  I opened my eyes and raised my head but stayed put, letting the others file out before I moved to perch on the arm of the aisle seat.  With a little luck, anyone glancing my way would assume I was patiently waiting for the crush to peter out.

I swear, it felt like an hour before the last person passed me and Eran appeared in the aisle.  His eyes met mine briefly as he gestured for me to go ahead of him so he was the last in line.  Remembering Rune’s how-to lecture, I hung back a few paces as the line crawled back through the residential section in impatient, accordion-style fits and starts.  Eran’s quarters were nearer the passenger cabin than mine, so he dropped off first.  I didn’t hear the portal open and close, but I sensed his absence immediately, leaving me chilled, alone, and bereft.  I continued toward my own quarters, barely resisting the urge to sprint for safety.  Fifteen cabins between me and my sanctuary.  Progress was agonizingly slow, but the portal finally closed behind me.  Darting across the compact salon-slash-bedroom, I dove into the closet.

Ω

 

© 2010, Kathy DiSanto, all rights reserved